you know you’re a true artist

When you’re comfortable talking about yourself in 3rd person.

That’s it.

And I’ve learned that it is mandatory. When applying for any art related contest, or expo or whatever, a bio is required. And yes, it is required to be written in 3rd person. Because you see, anyone who questions the method, will probably make a feeble attempt at doing it, providing a weak excuse for a bio, a mere layout of insecurities, proving the author a wannabe and not the great 3rd person speaking pompous piece of shit that he needs to be.

And that way, it is easier to weed out the losers.

When you are ready to talk about yourself in 3rd person, because it is obviously totally normal, and do it pompously enough as if you’re looking in the distance, lining up the horizon, then you are ready to be an artist. You might as well masturbate pretending it’s your neighbor while you’re at it.

Until then, gtfo.

But on a serious note, established artists probably have bios written about them by someone else. Because they have popularity and other people seek them out. In that case, of course 3rd person writing makes the most sense. It’s someone writing about someone else, it is most logical.

But if you ask random persons, emerging artists, people who pursue a hobby and want to enter an event, to write a bio about themselves in 3rd person, it is simply moronic. Or should I say they?

Saverio Guerra as Bob in Becker

(there’s a catch here)